“If we go to war with our sexuality, we will lose and end up in more trouble than before you started.”
–Jack Morin, The Erotic Mind
What Do I Do If I Am Questioning My Sexuality?
If you are questioning your sexuality you are not alone. While it may be confusing and scary to question your sexual orientation it is a brave journey requiring a safe space. Whether you are a gay or bisexual man who is questioning how to live his sexuality in a way that more deeply supports his mental health or a man who is unsure about his sexual orientation and wants to understand his experience of himself in a more accepting and authentic way seeking professional affirming help is a great investment in your mental health.
How Can Therapy Help Those Questioning Their Sexuality?
Therapy can help you if you are questioning your sexuality by providing a safe space to explore and be honest with yourself about your experience, If you are in the process of coming out therapy can help you to understand the impacts of negative imprints on your development by overt and covert shaming of sexuality by the family of origin, religion, culture, media, and social institutions. If you are in the process of coming out therapy can help you discern what are the next safe steps to take in your process. There is no cookie-cutter approach and internal or external pressures to ‘stay in’ or ‘come out’ can be harmful to your emotional stability and overall mental health.
How Do I Help Someone Questioning Their Sexuality?
Helping someone who is questioning their sexuality requires a stance of empowering acceptance and a recognition that having a comfortable relationship to our sexual attraction is an important Mental Health journey. Providing a non-judgemental listening ear and encouraging them to seek professional help where they can safely explore their experience of themselves, their sexual identity, gender identity, and sexual attractions is a healthy and courageous step. Be an ally on the side of authentic, secure development into adulthood!
What is Questioning Sexuality Called?
Questioning your sexuality is called coming to your own assistance! Being curious about your experience of sexuality, intimacy, and romantic relationships is a necessary process in becoming an autonomous adult who is secure in themselves. Being secure in our gender identity and sexual orientation is necessary to form adult intimate attachments.
At What Age Do You Stop Questioning Your Sexuality?
Each individual is unique in their journey of understanding their sexuality and we can discover who we most authentically are at any age! Depending on the messages that you have internalized about what is acceptable sexual orientation, identity, and sexual attraction your process may be repressed or bypassed and left unattended for years and sometimes decades. The good news is that it is never too late to improve your Mental Health by having a secure understanding of your sexuality and cultivating authentic relationships whether they are romantic/sexual or not.
Common Issues Associated With Questioning Sexuality
Sexual Anxiety
What we resist persists! Sexual anxiety is heightened by resistance to owning our varied experiences of sexual attraction out of a fear of being; “wrong”, “unacceptable”, rejected, or harmed. Mental health is improved when we can safely name, claim and celebrate our sexual identity/orientation and gender identity in ways that are healthy and appropriate to our life situation. Privacy is different than secrecy. Privacy is a healthy respect for recognizing safe and unsafe spaces, people, groups, or institutions. Secrecy is rocket fuel for anxiety, depression, relationship dissatisfaction, and despair
Uncovering New Sexual Attractions
Internally experiencing sexual attractions that have been externally shamed, judged, criticized, or pathologized can be frightening and isolating. These experiences lead to insecurity, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and a myriad of other mental health issues. For many men, there has been a poverty in their lives of healthy safe mentoring in navigating their understanding of sexuality, dating, intimacy, and commitment. For Gay, Bisexual, and Quesioning men this poverty of healthy mentoring and guidance is either absent completely or overtly and covertly shamed and rejected. This lack of guidance and mentoring can leave you feeling isolated, hopeless, and despairing, seriously sabotaging your mature growth into adulthood and impairing your mental health. I will provide you with a safe space to guide your discovery of who you are and how you want to express your sexuality.
However HomoShame is impacting you, there is hope…
… and your roots of shame can be healed to liberate you to be the blessing that you are to yourself, others, and the world!
Let’s imagine a world together… where your first impulse to take a boy’s hand is met with celebration and joy!
Let’s imagine a world where who and how you love is a sacred contribution to the whole of Love.
Let’s step into the vision and recover your capacity to love and accept yourself shamelessly!
Enough! You Are Ready! Call now to book your free 15-minute consultation: (705) 795-0240.