Posted by:


Welcome to my Blog.  Thank you for visiting.   I look forward to sharing ideas and experiences with you.  I am a psychotherapist in Barrie Ontario.  When people think of counselling or of ‘getting help’ with something important in their lives it is not much different than getting help with something not so important like asking a sales person to direct you to the location of a specific product.  We scan the environment, identify someone that we believe is qualified to help us, approach them and take a risk by posing our question and asking for help.  Easy, right?  One key difference when we are asking for help with our relationship to ourselves and/or to others is that the stakes are way higher.  Many of us are taught to believe that we should know how to be happy in ourselves and with others and that asking for help, especially professional help, is a sign of weakness.  I encourage you to recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength and the ability to come to your own assistance.

There is an axiom that says, ‘if we are going to say no to something successfully then we must know what it is that we are saying yes to’.  Becoming healthier in ourselves and our relationships is about knowing how bad things are today and having a clear vision of what we are saying yes to and then learning and practicing the skills to change our experience.  The age old wisdom that we must know what we are saying ‘yes’ to in order to successfully change is supported by current understanding of how our brain functions.  The right side of the brain, that among other things,  is responsible for creating pictures as we think, process and experience, does not recognize the concept of ‘not’.  So, if I say to myself “I am not going to eat that ice cream”.  My right brain immediately creates a picture of the ice cream and my physiology begins to respond to the ice cream!!  Hmmmmmmmmm how’s that for a failure set up?

However, if I say to myself, “I’m going to enjoy a peaceful five minutes and an apple” my brain creates the picture of ‘peaceful’ and ‘apple’ and my physiology begins to respond to the picture I’ve created.  The brain is a truly amazing, wonderous part of us.  Science has learned a great deal about the human brain in the last century and we still have so much more to learn.

I encourage you today to know what it is that you are saying ‘yes’ to in your life and to create and hold a clear and compelling picture of it in your mind.  As you go through your day and feel drawn to old patterns of behaviour that you know are harmful to you, stop, breathe, imagine what it is that you are saying yes to and enjoy!

Who will be the first to notice that what you are saying yes to is showing up in your life?

May you be free from suffering, May you be at Peace,

Frank Kewin



About the Author:

Add a Comment